


why is this love such a shame and so tamed?

by littlelooneyluna



Series: oh but darling we are meant to be [3]
Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Drama, Establishes Relationship, Family Drama, Jack's treatment of Robert, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, aaron is just madly in love and supportive and rob hates putting him through family shit, homophobia/biphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-24 14:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13216134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: it starts with robert's birthday, and jack showing his face and his feelings too and soon everyone's knowing what he did.





	1. happy birthday you

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! so this is just the jack bit of the fic that i was talking about ages ago lol. i have ideas for after this section which involves nuptials and family talk but this part sort of logically needs to be dealt with his first.

 

It's his birthday, his first birthday with Aaron and that's new and excited and odd all at the same time.

Because he's got someone to share it with.

And that someone seems to love him for some random reason, and he can't even  _remember_ the last time he was around people who genuinely loved him.

Not the way Aaron does.

Robert's sitting up in bed, white sheets warm and fuzzy and he remembers when they used to be cold.

 _Before_ Aaron.

His phones is buzzing in his hand as he rubs at his eyes and he sees a message from Vic.

She's sent about a million emojis after just a generic happy birthday message and it adds a Victoria sort of spark to it.

He gulps hard, eyes flickering a little as he presses his head back against his headboard and sighs, eyes closing a little.

When his eyes open again, there's a hand on his arm.

Big blue eyes and a soft smile and mad curly hair.

"Mornin' you." Aaron mumbles, his throat is croaky and he's got the covers lifted right up to his chest. He looks so comfortable in Robert's bed that it almost makes him want to cry.

He's somehow got Aaron in his bed and it makes him blush to know that Aaron's probably losing his shit about being in Mr Sugden's bed too.

They're embarrassing like that, in secret.

Robert bends down and kisses Aaron's head. "Morning." He says, pulls a hand through Aaron's hair and gently dances his fingers back and forth.

He smiles to himself just a little, catches the sun stretch in towards the room and he feels Aaron begin to move up on the bed a little until he's on Robert's lap.

He just smiles at him and then he's blushing, cupping Robert's face. "Never thought I'd be waking up to you on your birthday. I've got to say." And he always does say, when he's completely pissed, or when he's really happy.

All the other times, he's just Aaron. He's soft and quiet and secretly clingy too.

"Happy birthday." He finally says, lips hovering over Robert's until they meet and Robert feels butterflies explode in his stomach.

He doesn't know how exactly they managed to get here, because it's been a while really.

And they already did that whole, falling madly in love after a few months thing and he knew, as soon as word got round in the office (after the forgetting to shut the blinds incident) that their days according to literally everyone were numbered.

Because Robert was the bloke with serious commitment issues.

And Aaron was a bit of a odd ball, one foot out the door sort of guy.

But they didn't know them. They didn't know that Aaron was already leaving things spotted around Robert's flat, leaving his mark everywhere and making Robert think: ' _Aaron Aaron Aaron_ ' every single night before his head hit the pillow.

And then he was staying round, Robert was gripping onto a strong frame and soft skin and feeling so safe that it ached.

Because Aaron, he didn't love easily apparently, he'd said that one night. Only, he'd somehow managed to fall in love with Robert before Robert had the chance to catch up to him.

And yeah, he'll always treasure that.

"Thank you Mr Dingle." Robert whispers, pulls away and then his eyes are sparkling and Aaron pulls a face, almost knows what's coming before Robert's pinning him down and -

Okay he's thirty two now but Aaron's fucking ticklish and he has the best laugh in the world.

 

 

~*~

 

 

He's a prat. That's why he's wasting his day, feet up on the sofa and phone in hand.

He knows it's pointless to go looking, to see if they've bothered to send him a text or a card or -

"Hey." Aaron sits beside him and smiles, he's got this soft look on his face and then his face drops a little. "Vic's coming isn't she?"

And he's saying it like it should be enough and Robert wants it to be.

It _is_ enough.

Because she actually likes Aaron.

After the whole fake grilling thing where Aaron nearly tripped over about five of the sentences he tried to string together.

He was a nervous wreck bless him.

All:

_'We haven't known each other for very long - yeah - but I - I've been in love with him for so long.'_

And.

_'I love him so much, sorry - that's - I just do. I don't see my life without him in it.'_

And Robert turned to absolute jelly as he heard the conversation by the door and then saw Vic wrap her arms around him without warning and he cautiously hugged her back before smiling.

Robert nods his head slowly. "Yeah." He says slowly. "She said she was anyway." He tosses his phone down and Aaron turns it over in his hands.

He's staring down at the blank screen and then looking at Robert.

"He'll never deserve you." Aaron whispers, presses his face against Robert's cheek and Robert thinks he's getting upset.

He doesn't want Aaron upset at _all_.

Not over his shitty family problems.

Only, Aaron wears his heart on his sleeve in a way Robert knows isn't healthy.

"I mean it." Robert hears.

He looks at Aaron and shudders. "He doesn't think you deserve me either." And that's what hurts, that's what manages to kill him the most.

Aaron pulls his hand away from Robert's face and nods his head.

Robert just stares at him for a few seconds and thinks back to when Jack found out.

He was confused, he was fucking angry and didn't understand and he kept mentioning Chrissie or any other woman he'd seen Robert with.

He hadn't even said a lot. Neither had Andy but -

He could see all the confusion in their eyes and he hated it.

"I hate him for that." Robert says softly and Aaron looks at him. "What?" He's asking.

"Something must have happened for him to be _so_ -" his hands flap around a little and then he sighs as Robert's eyes glass over.

He's fifteen again.

It leaves bruises.

He closes his eyes and opens them again. "It's my birthday." He pushes through the memory and smiles. "Kiss me." He says, and Aaron sees the pain and all the unfinished words and -

He just kisses Robert and then pulls him into a hug, Robert's head pressed right into Aaron's chest like he needs all the comfort in the world.

"Love you."

He hears, and it vibrates through him.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Vic comes, she's made cake and more cake and some cookies as well and she wraps her arms around her brother and smiles as she looks over her shoulder and sees Aaron standing there.

Robert smiles at him too, because he's so fucking nervous when he's around her like he thinks she's going to say something like 'you're not good enough for him' and he's going to be just the bloke who works in the office and not Robert's _boyfriend_.

"Happy birthday then!" Vic says, and she huffs herself down on the sofa before she's squinting at Aaron.

"Noticed your things around the place." She says, leans forward a little and Aaron smiles.

"Sort of, slowly moving in." He says, plays with his hands as Robert puts her cakes on plates in the kitchen and laughs.

"Taking our time Vic." He tells her and she bites back something before smiling again.

"Well I'm glad." And she looks it. "Because it's so clear that you're _madly_ in love." And she laughs, makes Aaron turn bright red and shake his head.

And yeah, Robert is madly in love.

And he likes it that way, because he didn't really _love_ people before Aaron. Not the way most people his age could say they have throughout their life.

But Aaron, and that _love_ he felt for him before Robert could even wrap his head round what he felt,

Well it was home.

It really was home.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Vic's rainbow cake is the best, and Robert thanks her for it as well as her present.

Thanks her for just being there because yeah, he's not the best brother in the world and he needs to make more effort.

Because she makes enough effort for the both of them.

And it shouldn't be like that.

He's siting on the sofa, eating cake and watching crap telly and he's not even thought about the mountain of emails he's got to answer before tomorrow.

Because Aaron's sitting on his legs like he's a five year old and he keeps gently stroking over Robert's arm as Vic bangs on about her love life.

Or lack of one.

"Just because not all of us can romantically fall in love with a work colleague and -"

"Uh. I'm still his boss actually." Robert quips, earns a light slap to his stomach from Aaron and then Vic's smiling at them.

He sees her, all big grin and wide eyes and maybe they really look madly in love.

It scares him a little.

And then he's thinking about how well she took it all. He was sick before he went to meet her for coffee, thought she'd frown and say he wasn't thinking straight.

Because he just blurted it out: 'I'm in love with a man, a man Vic.'

But she hugged him, cried a little and said: 'Robert Sugden, finally in love.'

And everything else melted away.

She's still smiling by the time the door goes.

It makes Aaron frown and Robert sits up a little.

"Not expecting anyone else are we?" Robert says, because he's fine with this, he likes this little set up.

Aaron shakes his head, lazily climbs off Robert before kissing him gently. "I'll see who it is."

Robert nods, and before he knows it, he's feeling something tighten in his chest and -

He hears Andy's voice.

And then -

"So you must be Aaron."

And Robert wants to protect him from everything.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Jack's just there, and he's bold as fucking brass.

Robert stands quickly and sees how awkward and out of place Aaron looks.

He hates everything.

Because this is his fucking home, doesn't matter if he's not officially moved in yet or whatever.

"Didn't expect him to be answering the door." Jack says, a chuckle escaping and a frown on his face. "That's new."

And his voice is bitter.

It's filled with it.

And then he looks over at Vic and smiles. "Hello love."

She looks awkward too.

"What you doing here?" She's asking for everyone and he shrugs.

"It's my son's birthday." He holds a hand out towards Robert and then drops it. "Happy birthday." He says slowly.

Robert just stares at him in shock, doesn't know what to say before he's slowly nodding. "Thanks." He says.

"Is that all I get?" Jack says, comes forward a little as Andy stands behind him and doesn't say a word.

Robert frowns. "What do you want?" He's saying, and it's all manipulative and mean and he can see it all but no one else seems to.

It makes something drum in his mind over and over again.

Jack raises an eyebrow. "Some respect would be nice." He frowns and Robert sees Aaron frowning too. He looks like he wants to dart across the room and shield Robert. Jack shakes his head. "You're ripping this family apart son."

Robert's eyes flicker. "What?" He blurts out and Vic is shaking her head.

"How? That's - dad that isn't fair." She says, and Andy speaks up.

"Vic, you don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"What he's done, he's trying his best to make everything - everything _awkward_ love."

And Robert gulps hard.

Everything's awkward because he's daring to be who he wants to be.

"Awkward?" Aaron suddenly blurts out, and he's pushing past Andy and staring at Jack. "Why because he's with me?"

And yep.

Of course Jack agrees.

" _Dad_." Vic protests, looks like she wants to cover her ears.

"He's doing this for attention." Jack says.

"Get out." Aaron spits, he's never looked so angry, so disgusted before and Robert holds at his shoulders suddenly and tells him to calm down. "No." Aaron shrugs him away. "You know how much you affect him? You should be supportive, not -"

"Of what? Him trying to get a rise out of me?"

Robert feels tears in his eyes and he wants to brush them away. "This isn't about you dad."

Jack shakes his head and tosses that aside. "You think it'll work, that I'll -"

He feels the belt.

And the boy. He's screaming, he's shouting for Jack to stop and he doesn't and -

"Don't." Robert shakes his head and suddenly Aaron's turning to him. He's got tears in his own eyes and Robert hates how fucking compassionate Aaron is suddenly.

"Rob, what's -"

"You're not fifteen anymore. It won't work with -"

And Robert feels something break inside him, and he's running, he's slamming the bathroom door shut and he won't come out for anyone.

He hears Aaron shouting at Jack to go, shouting at Andy to go too.

"I shouldn't have -"

And it's almost an admission of what?

Robert hears it, then he's hearing a door slam and a knock on the bathroom one.

"Rob. It's me." Aaron sniffs and Robert thinks about keeping him out there but then decides he can't.

So he's opening the door and sitting on the edge of the bath as Aaron kneels down beside him.

Robert feels Aaron cup at his face and he falls apart because of how tender it is.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here." Aaron whispers, and Robert nods his head slowly. "You can - can talk to me."

And he knows he can.

Only -

"He's not going to hurt you again, not - not while I'm around." He rubs at Robert's face and nods encouragingly.

"Yeah?" Robert whispers and Aaron shuffles even closer to him and nods. "He did hurt me though." He suddenly says and Aaron frowns.

"He used to say horrible stuff?" Aaron asks, looks so hurt out of nowhere, as this is painful for _him_ too. Robert just stares at him before he nods his head.

"And," Robert trips. Aaron holds his hand and squeezes tight -

"I was, I was fifteen and -" and it hurts, and Aaron kisses his hand. "He caught me with a boy in my room. Said I was doing it for attention after my mum died and -" Aaron tuts, scratches his eyebrow. "He _beat_ me for it."

And Aaron clings tighter to him, allows him to cry in his chest and then _sob_ a little.

"I love you. I love you." Aaron keeps saying until everything else turns to black.

 

 

~*~

 

 

When he opens the door, Aaron's holding his hand as they go.

And Jack's still standing there.

Aaron almost pounces, eyes red raw and fists balled.

Robert pulls him back.

And Aaron tenses all over.

"Please, alright. Just leave it." He whispers, presses a hand on Aaron's chest and then his forehead against Aaron's too. "Please."

"You need to go." Robert can't even look at his father. "I want you to go."

Jack clears his throat. "I shouldn't have said that son." He clears his throat and he looks like he actually means it and -

"Yeah." Aaron pushes forward and his face is red and puffy. "You shouldn't have." He snaps and Robert gulps hard again.

"Son I'm -"

He tries speaking over Aaron's shoulder but it doesn't work because Aaron's almost like a bear protecting his young.

"He's not fifteen anymore, he's not _alone_ and you don't get to hurt him." He's saying and Robert pulls him back.

He loves him so much that it aches.

"I'm sorry." Jack says, and he looks stunned as his eyes fall over Aaron and the way he's holding Robert close to him.

Vic is still there, and so is Andy and everyone is heavy with emotion.

"For what?" Robert mumbles and Jack looks towards Andy and Vic.

"Could you give us -"

And they leave, Vic kissing Robert's cheek as she goes, squeezing Aaron's hand and Andy looks so _guilty_ all of a sudden.

The door closes and Aaron stays, he's inches away from Robert and their shoulders touch.

"He stays." Robert shudders and Jack holds his hands up.

"I'm traditional son." And it's his way of explaining, it's piss poor. "I just -"

Robert's eyes flicker. "You just didn't want a son like me."

And he feels Aaron rub a hand down his back slowly.

"Rob you don't have to do this. Not today - not on your birthday, not -" he whispers into Robert's ear.

"It wasn't that simple son." Jack shakes his head. "And it still isn't now."

Robert scrunches his face up and shakes his head.

He suddenly wants it to be so simple.

As simple as it can be.

He wants his dad to love him and it shouldn't be _such_ an ask.

"I'm only bisexual dad. I haven't killed anyone." He says darkly. "Bet you would have preferred that."

"Don't be silly." Jack says, and he's just standing there and he's still meaning too much to Robert. He sighs. "I - should go."

And he should.

And he does.

"I'm sorry." He says heavily. "That you're upset son." He shakes his head. "Happy birthday then."

And the door closes and Robert feels Aaron's arms around him suddenly.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Robert climbs into bed, feels Aaron spread his arms around him.

"I didn't give you your present." He says, leans down under the bed and pulls out a small box.

It's got a ribbon on it and Aaron blushes.

"It's not anything big." He pulls a face and when Robert opens it he finds two small tickets inside. "You, you - you don't have to like it but -"

Robert frowns. "Two train tickets for -"

"You've seriously never been Blackpool." He says, bites at his lip and Robert's eyes sparkle. "And I know the lights won't be there but -"

Robert presses a kiss towards Aaron's mouth and shudders.

It's pitch black, the stars are out now and Aaron's in his bed.

"Sounds perfect." He says, and Aaron smiles for a second before his face falls a little. "It's naff. You can hardly show it off to all your work friends can ya?"

Robert licks his lips. "Good thing I've got you to show off then." He whispers and then he's holding Aaron closer. "Today, you -" he blows out a breath. "No ones ever, ever stood up for me like that." He shrugs, chin wobbling.

"Well _I_ have. I always will. I promise." He whispers gently and then blushes. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm being so -"

"Because resident grumpy guts loves me." Robert smiles, and then it sinks in. "You really love me don't you?"

And Aaron frowns. "Course I do." He whispers, "And that man, he - he really doesn't deserve such an amazing son." He says gently, eyes full of wonder.

Robert looks away. "Don't." He says, and it'll always hurt. "Just want him to understand how much I - I can't help who I am." He gulps.

And Aaron nods. "I know." He whispers.

Robert shudders, presses his face against Aaron's. "I love you. God, I really love you Aaron."

And Aaron still looks all giddy and his cheeks redden like he doesn't really believe it's all real yet.

"Love you too." Aaron sniffs. "And I'll be here, if he finally understands, if he doesn't -" Robert drops his head. "Because I love you."

And Robert, he's drunk on this feeling.

"Move in." He blurts out and Aaron's eyes flicker.

"You haven't thought that through." Aaron tells him and Robert frowns. "We work together, we - we're practically always in each other's pockets and -"

"It shouldn't make me happy. I hate people in general but well there's something about ya isn't there?"

Aaron bites his lip. "Okay." He whispers.

"Okay?"

"Okay." He says softly and Aaron grins, climbs on top of Robert and pins him down hard.

Robert stares up at him and feels himself decide that Aaron,

He's all he needs.

Not Andy to shake his hand and smile.

Not his father to approve and say he's proud.

He just needs Aaron, he just needs _this_.

"Happy birthday Rob." He whispers, hands pressed down on Robert's chest and still straddling his thighs.

And yeah, despite absolutely everything.

Aaron's made sure it's a happy one after all.

 

 


	2. but please don't say it isn't so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robert attempts to move on from his birthday, only victoria won't let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next instalment! hope you enjoy!!

 

 

The alarm goes off and Aaron's automatically reaching out and hitting snooze.

Because yep, he isn't getting out of this bed for love nor money it seems and Robert doesn't blame him.

They're too comfortable, and it's _cold_ outside despite it nearly being May.

"Why does morning come?" Aaron grumbles, so fucking pissed off and it makes Robert chuckle lowly to himself before he's pressing his face into his boyfriend's back and kissing there gently.

It stirs Aaron awake a little until he's turning over and smiling lazily at Robert. He's got a hand pressed on Robert's cheek the way he always does because he's a secret sap and Robert feels giddy with the feeling which flows through him.

"Suppose we should be getting up then." Aaron whispers, and then he's pulling a face.

"Suppose so." Robert says, shrugs a little. "Or," he says playfully, tugs at Aaron's naked waist and smiles. "I could check if the boss could give you a few hours off this morning."

It's light and Aaron's grateful because since the whole birthday incident, he's felt his heart grow heavier around Robert, upset for him.

But Robert's managed to shake it off he seems, figure out what's important or whatever.

Aaron smirks. "You reckon he'd let me?" He says playfully and Robert closes his eyes for a second and acts like he's thinking about it.

"I reckon he wouldn't be too fussed." Robert whispers, dragging his mouth across Aaron's and watching him turn to jelly. His hands melt across Robert's hair and start to dance as Robert drags the covers back over their bodies and grabs at Aaron's body tighter.

 

~*~

 

Yeah, okay. They're domestic now and Aaron's knows they are.

Only. He doesn't even give a shit.

Because there was a time where he used to write Robert's name on his work notepad and doddle like crazy over the man.

And now he's wearing his boxers and sitting at his table in his kitchen and apparently it's as much his own as it is Robert's.

Because they've actually done the whole moving in thing like adults and they even have a cactus - Doris, don't ask - that they are in charge of looking after.

Robert's whizzing around the kitchen in white boxers and a grey top which isn't his and Aaron feels something light flutter in his stomach.

And yeah, he should be over all these butterflies.

The ones which only Robert produced. It makes him shake his head a little to think about how madly he'd fallen in love with someone who he definitely thought he had no chance with.

Because even he can admit that he's a grumpy git who doesn't let anyone close, doesn't just _fall_ in love on a whim and be unable to do anything about it.

And then Robert happened.

"What's for tea tonight?" He's asking, a few minutes later as Robert passes him a coffee and a slice of toast.

Robert raises his eyebrow. "Finish that first and then I'll have a think." He says cheekily before smiling. "I'll pick something up on the way home." He says, passing Aaron before kissing his head and walking towards the bedroom again.

Aaron bites down on his lip and swivels on Robert's fancy chairs before the phone rings and he freezes.

He's still getting used to everything being his _too_ and just sits there before Robert's calling him deaf and he's shuffling towards it.

"Uh, hello?" He's saying, awkward as ever.

He hears someone almost crying and then some sniffling. "Hi Aaron, it's Vic. Is Robert around?"

He frowns and then Robert's hanging by the bedroom door. "Uh yeah he's, he's right here. One sec." He says hurriedly, passes the phone towards Robert before stepping away.

He watches Robert's face turn from calmness, to confusion and then anger suddenly.

"Rob?" Aaron whispers, tries to hold at his arm but Robert shakes him away and goes towards the window, still on the phone.

Robert hears it, he hears Jack's name being said and something about secrets and wanting to know and he can't do it.

Not like this.

"You mentioned being fifteen?" Vic sniffs. "Oh come on Rob, I've not spoken to him since your birthday and I need to know what's going on."

Robert rolls his eyes. "Dad's a bigot. Plain and simple, I'd rather not get into it." He says and Aaron can't help but follow him.

"It's _more_ than that." Vic says, frustrated. "Him and Andy, they - they -"

"Don't like my sexuality." Robert butts in, his mind is screaming for her to _stop_.

"Something happened. Just tell -"

"Vic, _please_."

Everything is drumming hard and fast and won't stop and he shakes his head before he feels himself pull the phone away from him and end the call.

He doesn't mean to.

But he can't do this.

And Aaron, he's right there as he turns around.

"Does she know?" Aaron says softly, and Robert's eyes flicker and he shakes his head.

"And she never will." He decides. He decided a long time ago that no one would know and then Aaron had come along and he'd been able to tell him and trust him and love him so much.

Aaron frowns. "Maybe it will -"

Robert passes him. "It won't help anyone alright? I'm not out to _expose_ him as a bad dad, I just want him to leave us in peace." He says and Aaron nods his head as Robert turns to him. "I want to forget him and just love you okay?"

And Aaron, he can't help but smile and then he's watching Robert disappear into the bathroom and he feels like crying for him.

 

~*~

 

Vic corners him because she just can't help herself, he's leaving the office to literally just get him and Aaron a coffee, and she's resting against his car and smiling nervously at him.

He sighs hard, feels sick as he remembers their conversation this morning.

He doesn't want to go _there_ with her. He doesn't want her to look at her father the way he does because it isn't fair. It really isn't.

"I thought we could grab a coffee, considering you put the phone down on me." She says, pulls a strand of hair out of her face as she speaks and gulps. Robert feels the wind pick up around them and suddenly wants Aaron.

But she still stands there, waiting, hoping, and he can't do anything about it until he nods his head and she's walking towards the coffee shop on the corner of the road.

And she orders something frothy, lashings of cream and chocolate too.

"Thought you were on a diet after my birthday cakes?" He tries to joke, tries to make this easy. Only it can't be because she looks up at him with worried eyes.

"Well, a lot happened on your birthday didn't it."

Robert sighs. "Vic. You've always known how dad was, I don't know why you're suddenly -"

"Because you ran off and locked yourself in your bathroom and then Aaron comes out and he looks like he's been _crying_ , and no one is telling me anything." She waves her hands around and then shuffles forward a little, catches the look on Robert's face. "Look, I know dad was hardly the most - _liberal_ person but he could come round to the idea."

Robert rolls his eyes, it's raining now and he wonders if Aaron's noticed he's been a long time. "He won't." He says heavily, "He should have by now and he hasn't so -"

Vic frowns. "He hasn't known for that long." She kicks her feet up and wraps them round the chair a little, makes herself more comfortable as Robert looks away.

Because yeah, Jack's known for over fifteen years now.

"Or has he?"

And suddenly he can't lie anymore.

"Yeah." He says slowly and she frowns. "He's known for -" he gulps. "Maybe he didn't, maybe he thought it was a phase. Just one he could beat out of me or something." Robert shrugs his shoulders slowly and then looks up to see Vic's face. Her skin is all blotchy, red, eyes puffy and he can't get passed how _gutted_ she looks.

"Dad beat -" she trips and Robert looks away from her. Everything is suddenly so heavy and he can't do anything about it. She rubs at her eyes and frowns. " _When_?"

Robert's eyes flicker. "I was fifteen." He whispers gently, "Caught in my room with some lad helping on the farm." He blinks quickly and waves a hand out. "I don't want to -"

Vic nods like she understands.

"You don't have to." She whispers, hands falling over his as he keeps his head down.

"He said - said it was for slacking, for not doing as I was told but I knew what it was for Vic. I _knew_ and - and it _hurt_ and he couldn't - couldn't even _look_ at me for weeks after it happened."

He can hear her crying over the rain outside and he doesn't know whether or not he should hug her. He's just so _sorry_ and he tells her that.

Vic frowns, "No. No you don't have to be sorry for what he did." She says.

"I didn't want you to - to think of him differently." Robert stresses with his hand, and he's fifteen again and Vic is younger and she loves their dad in that purely innocent way.

He's tarnished that.

Vic pales a little, "Well that's not your problem." He says and Robert tries to nod slowly before his phone is vibrating and he looks down.

"It's Aaron." He smiles instantly. "Wants to know what's taking me so long." He says, looks back out the window and sighs. "I should really be getting back, I'm sorry."

Vic stands and watches Robert do the same. "Aaron, he - he knows right?" And Robert nods. "That's why he was so -"

"Protective, yeah." He gulps and she looks grateful suddenly.

"I'm glad he is." She says heavily and then she wraps her arms around him and he has to bend a little to kiss her head. "You don't worry about anything okay?" She tells him and he already knows that he's going to have Hell to pay for blowing out the biggest family secret there is.

 

~*~

 

 

He tells Aaron.

He doesn't want to but he does, of course he does.

He's swirling around his fork and Aaron's looking all worried because yeah Robert's not been acting like himself all day.

"I know it's not the best cooked pasta in the world but you _did_ say you were picking something up."

Robert frowns, confused for a second before he shakes his head and gulps. "It's not the food." He says, and Aaron slips down beside him and looks concerned again. "Vic, she knows."

And Aaron holds his breath, doesn't know what to actually say until Robert is pressing his fingers against his eyes and trying not to cry.

"How did she take it?" Aaron says, has a hand suddenly on Robert's elbow just because he needs to _touch_ him somehow.

Robert raises his head. "Badly." He whispers. "I know, I know it's going to change things." He says. "I didn't want that."

"You're not the bad guy in this." Aaron says passionately. "You didn't -"

"He won't see it that way." Robert says. "He'll think I -"

Aaron comes closer and holds Robert by the chin before smiling faintly. "I love you." He says. "And I'm - I'm here, I promise."

And Robert melts a little because Aaron usually always goes on about how _bad_ he is with talking about his feelings.

Robert cups at Aaron's face. "You shouldn't have to go through this." He says heavily, out of nowhere.

Aaron's eyes flash a little and he looks sad.

He's quiet for a second and then he lifts his head and smiles. "Through what? Supporting ya?"

Robert bristles. "You know what he thinks of you and me?" He says, frowns.

Aaron nods and then shrugs, his nose touching Robert's. "But I don't give a shit 'cause I know," he presses his forehead against Robert's. "I know that no one can touch what we have."

And it settles something so heavy in Robert's stomach.

 

~*~

 

Vic's round the next morning before they head to work.

She's bought pastries and a nervous smile and Aaron feels it as she hugs him and then lets go.

"Thought I'd catch ya before you left." She says, looks towards Robert. "Is he alright?" She whispers to Aaron and he doesn't say anything for a second.

Because last night, he was almost vacant.

He was practically dead behind the eyes after dinner and he fell asleep facing away from him.

He never does that.

"He - he's okay." Aaron scratches at his eyebrow and gulps as Robert comes towards them and nods.

"You alright?" Robert says, grabs at his watch from the side and then slows down his movements as Vic comes towards him.

"I - saw dad." She trips over her words and Robert feels himself grow cold.

He drops his watch down, it's too cold and heavy in his hands, and then he shudders.

"Yeah?" He says, tries to brush it all off.

Only, Vic nods her head slowly and then she's saying -

"He said it didn't happen."

And Robert feels faint.

 

 


	3. facing how you feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robert struggles with jack's denial.

 

There's a heavy silence in the room which drags at Robert and nearly tosses him backwards without warning.

He can't hear.

He just sees Vic flapping her arms about and Aaron frowning and pulling a hand over his mouth and looking like he wants to _kill_ someone.

All he can think about is being back there, back on that farm, covering the fucking bruises and starving himself for _days_ because it was a shed loads better than being downstairs and having to ask his dad to past the bread over the table.

He suddenly feels Aaron, he's holding at his shoulder and Robert flinches. He breaks out of his shock and grabs at his watch.

"Figures." He says, stares at the look on Vic's face. "Look, I've got to go, I have a meeting and -"

"You never said." Aaron barely whispers, eyes flickering a little and then Robert shakes his head and passes them before until he's outside and he soaks in the fresh air before slamming the car door shut and hitting at the wheel.

His hands are red and shaking and -

He hates everything suddenly.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Aaron comes in later.

He's knocking on the door of Robert's office and he's got his normal work suit on, only nowadays it makes Robert stir.

Because it reminds him of tugging off his tie and kissing at his neck.

He feels it now as Aaron shuffles inside, only it dies away a little as everything _else_ hits him too.

Aaron gives him half a smile. "How was the meeting?" He asks and Robert just stares at him blankly before he sighs.

"Didn't have one." He admits and Aaron just nods like he knows.

"Couldn't get out of yours fast enough." Aaron says slowly, comes forward and taps a finger against Robert's wooden desk.

Robert frowns. "No." He says. "It wasn't like that and - it's _our_ place. Not just -"

Aaron nods his head and does a little 'yeah yeah yeah' sound before he sighs. "Rob, talk to me."

Only Robert can't because his dad _denied_ it happened and that's so far from fair it's a _joke_.

Robert bites at his lip, he's picked the habit up from Aaron unfortunately, and then shrugs. "I'm busy Aaron." He says, a little dismissive.

Aaron holds it back, whatever rejection he feels and then he leans forward. "Rob, Vic believes ya. She doesn't doubt - "

But the door goes, and Leyla's walking in with a pregnant belly and a smile on her face.

She glows and Aaron smiles at her awkwardly before Robert raises his head.

"Oh wow." Leyla says, dramatic as bloody ever. "Have I walked right into your first ever tiff?" She says and Robert just rolls his eyes and shakes his head at her.

"Anything you wanted?" Robert asks her and her face falls.

"Charming." She says, comes forward before shaking her head. "Just wanted to see how things were ticking over. Pete's got me laying flat out on the sofa and it's making me lose my mind."

Aaron frowns. "Didn't _you_ want to leave early -"

Leyla rolls her eyes. "Yes! But I'm hormonal and wrong sometimes." She moans before she looks at Robert. "You look distracted." She observes before looking at Aaron. "He alright?" She asks and Robert jumps in.

" _He's_ fine." He says before he slams something down and makes Aaron's eyes flicker. "Or he would be if people just got back to doing what they're paid to do."

And he doesn't mean to snap, make Aaron feel _less_ than him, only he does and -

"Fine, _boss_." He says, and he's sarky and sad and Robert's a dick for causing that.

And the door slamming too.

It makes everything tense and then Leyla's flopping down on the chair opposite Robert's desk and her bright pink dress is hurting his eyes.

"Alright spill." She says and he shakes his head. "You and Aaron not working anymore?" And she sounds gutted.

He frowns harshly. "No, we're fine. We would be if -"

And she sighs. "Your dad?"

She knows _things_ and he nods his head.

Needs a friend and spills.

 

 

~*~

 

 

He's drinking when Aaron comes home. The lights are off everywhere and he's buried himself in work that can wait and Aaron doesn't know what to do.

He just hangs by the door and then clears his throat. "You hungry?"

Robert keeps tapping his fingers against the keyboards and sighs. "No." He says and Aaron nods his head.

"Robert, you know you can talk to me?" He whispers, starts playing with his hands and Robert stops tapping.

He keeps his head down and shrugs. "He _denied_ it." He says slowly. "It's - it wasn't that big of a deal but - but he pretended it never even _happened_ and -"

Aaron comes towards him, hangs his hands round Robert's face and sighs. "I know, I know mate I - I'm so sorry." He says, rubs at Robert's arms and Robert looks at him for a second or two.

He's crying, _so_ upset _for_ him and he doesn't want him to be like this.

"So am I." He says. "You - you really didn't know what a wreck you signed up for when you fell in love with me." And he shakes his head before reaching for his bottle and swigging it back.

Aaron frowns, claws a little at Robert's stop. "Don't say that." He says softly.

"It's _true_." He bites, stands up and goes towards the door and then sighs hard. He hates himself, hates _this_. He hates _him_ most of all. "Why couldn't he just say he was _wrong_ , why couldn't he admit it?"

Aaron bites his lip. "Rob -"

"He's still punishing me for it." Robert sighs hard. "I hate him Aaron."

And everything bubbles up inside Aaron, this need to just blindly protect takes over and he's picking up his keys and racing out the door.

 

 

~*~

 

 

He ends up at Jack's little house with the help of Vic. She follows him, says she wants answers and he doesn't expect him to even let them in, only he does.

"What's this about?" He's asking, clearing his throat and sitting down on a battered looking chair.

The place is filled with old memories, pictures and little figurines and he clearly misses the farm Robert said they lost years ago.

It distracts Aaron for a second before he's crossing towards where Jack is sitting.

"I think you know what." He says slowly. "It's about _you_ , and what you did to him and what you can't even admit."

Jack's eyes flicker and Vic comes forward a little.

"Dad, is it true?" She's whispering, "Did you really -"

Only he just keeps shaking his head. "Now do you believe he just wanted attention?"

And Aaron feels himself fucking _loose_ it.

"Take that back." He hisses, and Jack just stares blankly at him. "You're _lying_ , you're lying and -"

"Dad." Vic says. "You are aren't ya?" And her chin wobbles. "Dad, he - he didn't want to tell me, I had to drag it out of him. Because it was the truth wasn't it?"

And his mouth just gapes open.

And everything is silent.

"He's - he's making it sound worse than what it was -"

Vic makes this awful sound and then she's backing towards the door and she's telling Aaron she's going to wait in the car.

The door slams and Jack kicks his foot against the sofa and swears.

Aaron looms over him, he can imagine him raising his hands to his own son, telling him he was sick, that he was _wrong_ , that he could never do _that_ again.

"You know, I've known Robert for a long while." He says, sits slowly opposite Jack. "And I always thought he was a show off, a bit of a cocky bastard to be fair." He shrugs. "Loved him mind but -" he pulls a face. "He was _always_ out to impress. Always looking for praise, _something_ at least. Because of you."

And Jack shakes his head.

"Remember that night he didn't win the award?" Aaron watches Jack remember and nod. "I found him crying in his office, he looked devastated. Not because he didn't win, but because he'd disappointed ya."

Jack bristles and the air grows even heavier as Aaron brushes tears from his face.

"You did that to him." Aaron says, angrier now. "Because you couldn't deal with him and -"

"Some lad." Jack pulls a face. "I know." He says and then he shakes his head. "He was always trouble, always always trouble."

Aaron frowns. "Him having the balls to try and figure out who he is, isn't him being _trouble_." And he suddenly wishes _he_ was that brave when he was only fifteen.

Jack rolls his eyes. "You don't get it." He says. "I had to make him know that - I had to -"

"Beat it out of him?"

Jack stays silent for a second or two. "You know - you know when a baby touches something hot, and you slap their hand to try and shock them out of it, because it's dangerous. That's what I was doing." He says, like he's suddenly back there doing it right now.

It makes Aaron bristle. "Dangerous?"

"Where we lived, _yeah_." He says, unapologetic about his choice of words. "Little Emmerdale village, only gay in the -"

"That's just it, he isn't _gay_. He's bisexual Jack." He tells him, growing frustrated again. "Why can't you just -"

And suddenly Jack's had enough of explaining. "I don't have to say anything to you." He bites. "You're just some - some new thing for him to try out."

It makes something tighten in Aaron's chest. "No." He shakes his head, tries not to cry but it feels like all his fight is gone.

"How long have you been seeing each other again? Vic says about eight months." And he scoffs. "That's _nothing_."

And he's mean, he's not this feeble old man.

He can _hurt_.

"I love him." Aaron's chin wobbles and Jack smirks.

"Oh yeah. Vic told me that too, that you were madly in love with him for years." He shakes his head. "How does it feel eh? To know that you'll always love him more than he loves you."

Aaron breathes out slowly, face puffy and red suddenly and it makes his throat turn dry. "How - that's not -"

"He's never been in love before. Doesn't know how. You're no different son."

And Aaron frowns. "You're wrong." He says, and he stands up, backs until he feels himself bump into the wall. "And you're alone and bitter and -"

"He doesn't know how to love you."

Why does that stick in Aaron's mind?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you thought!


	4. the way it unravels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert finally speaks openly to his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter!! ;(

 

It's dark by the time he's back at Robert's flat - _their_ flat - and his fingers shake a little as he pulls the key through the lock.

The flat is warm, makes his heart trip a little as he slowly takes his jacket off and hangs it by the Robert's coat. He stands there for a second, exhaustion taking over him as he tilts forward and presses his nose against Robert's scarf.

It smells exactly like him and makes Aaron's shoulders relax as he stands, closes his eyes and feels the darkness just completely surround him.

The sound of feet against the wooden floor makes him sigh against the material and then he's feeling the light get switched on.

"You're back." A voice says, _Robert_ says. He's got a pair of boxers on and a white shirt of Aaron's, and he's holding his chest like he's scared or something. "You were gone ages." He says, chest moving up and down a little too quickly for Aaron's liking.

He turns towards him and bites his lip. He had taken a while, driven round and round and round and thought about things he had tried to bury the minute Robert was kissing him back and everything was real.

He's already insecure, he's already got at least a solid ten months more time of loving Robert in him and -

"Yeah. Just - just drove round a bit." He waves a hand up and suddenly can't even look in Robert's eyes.

"Was that before or after you went to my dad's?"

Aaron opens his mouth and then closes it slowly, unsure of what to say. He doesn't know whether or not Robert's angry at him or not, feels his heart race a little faster though.

"How do you know about it?" He asks after a few seconds, clearing his throat and sitting on the spinning red chair near the kitchen.

Robert crosses the room with his arms folded. "Because - because I got call from Andy. He told me that dad had said I wasn't lying, that it did happen."

And he thinks back to how hard he grabbed at the chair as Andy spoke down the phone to him.

He said he was sorry, and he sounded it too.

Aaron's eyes widen a little. "That's - _Rob_ that's good isn't it?"

And Robert nods slowly. "What did you say to him?"

Aaron's eyes flicker. "Not a lot." He shrugs and his eyes grow glassy. He didn't say all that much but _Jack_ -

Robert can tell, feels this crippling sense of distance between them and doesn't want it to there. He steps forward and tries to grab at Aaron's waist but the younger man pulls away and lets out a nervous sigh.

"What did _he_ say to _you_?" Robert's asking, doesn't know what's happened but -

Aaron just stares at him for a long while saying nothing until he turns on his feet and start going on about needing a shower.

Only Robert follows him, watches him undress until he's standing in his boxers and turning the shower on.

Robert doesn't want to push him, can't imagine what nonsense his father said. So he sighs and smiles at Aaron instead.

"Thank you." He says, and Aaron looks up. "For - for trying."

And Aaron nods slowly, feels his skin prickle. "Well I love you." He shrugs and he waits, one, two, then three seconds and Robert's just nodding his head back.

He isn't saying it.

And Aaron's loved him for so much longer, his love runs so much deeper and -

"Say it back then." Aaron blurts out, and Robert's eyes flicker.

"What?" He's saying and Aaron isn't aware that minutes have passed and he's just been standing there, one leg still hooked in his jeans.

And Aaron's eyes water. "Say you love me back." His chin wobbles a little and he feels like a twat.

Robert frowns and then he's walking towards Aaron. "Of course I do." He says, only Jack - he's really worked his magic and Aaron just frowns back at him.

"Not the same way." Aaron whispers, "How could ya when I've loved you secretly for so much longer?"

And it staggers Robert, Aaron can see.

And it's him.

Robert _knows_ it's his dad.

"You know that's bullshit." Robert insists, finger pointing and chest heaving up and down and yeah they've not had a fight like this but he feels like he's on the verge of tears and Aaron's already crying and -

"Do I?" He says, "Do _you_?" He's kicking his jeans off, trying to turn towards the bathroom but Robert catches his arm and he allows himself to be pulled close to Robert so that he's looking into his boyfriend's eyes.

"This is him. He's - he's trying to get to us." Robert tells him. "You said he wouldn't." He whispers and Aaron looks away.

"You've never been in love before. He said that. And it's true isn't it?" Because no they haven't had pillow talk about love lives like that.

Maybe that's Aaron's fault too.

Robert thinks back to what Vic said when he confessed to being in love with Aaron and he knows that yeah, okay he's never been in love like this but -

"That doesn't mean anything."

"It does." Aaron says, doesn't know what to think. "Because I _love_ you, I know I do."

"And I don't?" Robert lets go of Aaron and gulps hard.

Aaron doesn't say anything and everything is suddenly heavy.

"Because I haven't had a boyfriend before you? Because maybe I'm not bisexual after all?"

Aaron's eyes flicker. "I didn't -" and he's clawing at Robert's top, he's got a wet face and it's puffy and red and -

Robert knows he's getting worked up, knows this isn't about Aaron. It's him, it's his dad who's admitted to beating him over like boys when he was just a kid.

"This isn't your fault." Robert mumbles, feels Aaron give in against him and press his head into Robert's chest for comfort. "It's _him_." He says, eyes turning hard.

"Robert -" Aaron says, looks up at him and then his boyfriend is pulling away from him completely and pulling on a pair of jeans. "What do you think -"

"I'm sorting this." Robert says, brushes at his eyes a little and then gulps, grabs his keys. "I need to speak to him." He says hastily and Aaron rushed after him until they're at the door.

He tells him to wait until tomorrow, to think it through at _least_.

"No." Robert turns towards Aaron. "I'm not losing ya because of him."

And Aaron frowns, holds at Robert's shirt again. "You're not. You're not, I'm just insecure and -"

"I _love_ you more than anything." Robert says, holds his hands against Aaron's face and feels his beard tickle at his palm. "And he made you doubt that." He says, suddenly hating the world. "He doesn't get to ruin my happiness anymore."

And he lets go, and he's gone.

 

 

~*~

 

 

It's late yeah, too late to be pounding down the door of a nice looking house in a nice looking part of town.

So he goes round the back and peers through the window. He sees his father on the sofa and he gently taps at the back door for a few seconds before he tries the handle and -

It's only on the latch, he walks right in.

Jack doesn't stir, doesn't even look up and for a second or two, Robert's eyes widen and he's thinking the worst.

"Dad?" Robert asks, voice soft as he comes round and looks at how Jack is slumped against the sofa.

His heart beats out of his chest and then suddenly Jack's eyes are flickering and he frowns as he sees Robert kneeling beside him.

"Didn't expect to see you again." He mumbles, sits up a little straighter and sighs.

Robert's heart rate returns to normal and he gulps as he sits back on the coffee table.

"You upset Aaron." Robert explains, "You really made him think that I didn't love him?"

Jack squints. "Well he's mighty insecure isn't he?"

Robert tenses. "Yeah." He barks. "He is actually, quite cripplingly and you go and tell him that I don't love him as much as he loves me."

Jack just stares at Robert for a few seconds. "You probably don't." He shrugs and everything stirs up inside him.

It's not true.

"The first moment I saw him, I felt my heart do something funny." Robert whispers, almost to himself.

And he's back in his glass office, and Leyla's showing around the new boy who keeps re-adjusting his tie and smiling awkwardly at everyone.

"So don't tell me -"

"It's got nothing to do with you, it's because of me." Jack blurts out.

And Robert doesn't expect that.

"What?" He's stumbling out and Jack gulps hard.

"You can't love him, because of what I did. I scarred ya." He explains with his hands, "And now there's always going to be a part of you which doesn't think it's  _right_."

It makes sense, this deep rooted sense of right and wrong is always going to come from his father isn't it? Yeah, he can go through life disagreeing with him, but deep - deep down, he'll always remember that -

"Are you proud of that?" Robert chokes out, voice tight as he speaks and Jack doesn't say anything, just looks paler. "You made it seem like the worst thing in the world." Robert whispers, shudders a little as he speaks.

Jack frowns. "It was to me, back then." He tries to explain, pulls a face. "You would have been messed around son."

"The only person I was messed around by was you." Robert says, tears in his eyes. "My own _dad_."

Jack pales a little. "I know." He says. "Son, I'm - I just don't understand." He whispers. "And you and this Aaron - you -"

"I love him." Robert blurts out. "And you know how hard I tried to tell myself I didn't? Because of you." He shudders. "Because you made me think that - that I shouldn't be the way I am."

Jack drops his head. "I didn't know -"

"It would effect me so much?" Robert blows out a breath, he can believe that. He can believe that his father truly thought he was acting up, being trouble, trying to get attention and it wouldn't _last_ , what he felt for boys, it was just a faze.

Jack nods his head slowly.

"I'm bi dad." Robert blows out a breath. "And that - that means, I like both. I - I could have a girlfriend and still be bisexual, it doesn't make it just _go_ away." He blinks slowly. "Because I'll always look at guys the way I look at girls."

And Jack just lets him speak, leaves Robert stunned.

"But I'm with Aaron." He says. "For as long as I can be." Jack raises his head. "Until he gets sick of me, you know?"

And Robert sees his father.

He really _sees_ him for the first time in years.

He's alone, sitting in a room, in a house, filled with old memories and older feelings and he hasn't moved passed them.

He's not even tried.

"It's your life." Jack says, and he sighs. "I'm - I just wish your mum was here, would have given me this talk years ago."

And Robert drops his head, he's crying instantly and he feels Jack's hand on his thigh.

"I don't hate who you are son." Jack explains after a few seconds. "I just don't understand, and that's - that's not your fault."

And it isn't. It really isn't and he knows that.

Robert stands, rubs at his eyes and clears his throat.

"I - should go." He says, and Jack nods at him.

"Do me a favour?" Jack asks, "Tell - tell Aaron I'm just a stupid old man, and I didn't know what I was saying."

Robert's eyes flicker as he goes towards the door. "You did. You're just sorry." He says slowly and Jack gulps.

"Yeah. I am." He says, "And I'll put it right with Victoria. I promise. And - I won't get in between you and him."

Robert nods at him, "Okay." He says slowly, and he feels this sense of progress run through them both without anything being said.

He just nods again and Jack nods back and he leaves.

He feels lighter than he has in years.

 

 

~*~

 

 

It's nearly midnight by the time Aaron hears the door go.

He's laying in bed, sheets covering him and eyes wide open.

He feels Robert walk into the room and sit down on the bed slowly.

He feels Robert pull a hand through his hair, then lean down and kiss his head.

"You're my first proper love Aaron." He whispers, hands falling over Aaron's face. "And I want you to be my last too." He says and Aaron looks up at him then.

His blue eyes are shining over and he smiles, clearly confused. "Where's that come from?" He's asking, siting up in the bed a little more.

Robert blows out a breath. "I saw dad." He says, "Settled things a little I think." He whispers, pushes further up on the bed and smiles. "It put things into perspective I suppose."

"How are you feeling?"

And Robert tries to think, he really does and he blows out a breath, shrugs.

"Better than before." He admits, pulls a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry for - for just walking out like I did."

Aaron nods. "You said, you didn't want to lose me because of him." He says, and he holds at Robert's hand. He doesn't usually and it makes Robert's eyes flicker. Robert drops his head in shame a little until Aaron's holding it up. "That's not going to happen, I promise."

Only Robert thought he was, for just a few seconds. He thought Aaron was going to tell him it isn't working or something.

"I love you so much." Robert tells him, shakes his head. "I know I do. I know it."

And Aaron's suddenly kneeling on the bed and wrapping his arms around him. "I shouldn't have - have made you feel like - like you didn't. I'm so sorry." And he shakes a little as Robert holds him tighter.

"We're gonna be okay." Robert whispers, "Because - because all I needed was someone like you, and I have ya." He smiles and he thinks of his dad.

He might never understand but that heaviness is gone now.

And all he can see is the blueness in Aaron's eyes and the way his smile still makes Robert go weak at the knees.

"And I have you." Aaron smiles. "I love you."

And this feeling isn't going away.

Instead it seems to last and last and when Robert and Aaron see Jack next, there's a lightness about them all.

Because Jack lifts his hand up, nods at Robert as he watches him laugh about something Aaron's said and - 

Maybe it'll really be okay. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the last chapter for this particular section of the fic, like i said before, i have more to write but this sort of had to happen first?? 
> 
> let me know what you thought if/when you have the time!

**Author's Note:**

> hope it was enjoyed, i'll be updating regularly. have a very happy new year all!!


End file.
